Question: Rate this Rap verse (extended version)?
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Answer #1:
first of all dudg and e youy need better formatting and structure it kinda seems like you just threw up all your thoughts onto the paper.. which is good for creative innovation but for actually putting to use is ridculous unless you plan on using this to pretend your freestyling acapella which truly is a vomit of your thoughts in rythmic expulsion. but this you SHOULD NEVER DO AGA-IN because your supposed to write in 16's 32's really hooks 8 bars but your bars arent een really organized right some of your bars are longer than that and others need to be broken up. second off all you need to fuck with a better ryhming scheme you were using some oldschool digital planets type of scheme like funky with the myst bricks ghetto bunch of tricks that shit doesnt cut it these days. i like the metaphor witht the rock and chiseling by the way. one last thing though u seem to be the type of guy likes "lyrical rap" well to me this isnt lyrical maybe to somebody like mos def who also dont consider lyrical because he just talks about bullshit alot just masked just talking sabout rap being a rapping ass nigga saying shit nicely isnt shit!!! you need purpose which is what makes the best rappers and greatest human beingsof all time theirmoment because they were fighi=ting for their vision!!! thats how you can truly understand and get a role in this rap shit establiush an image and everything by knowing who you are and how you want your music to affect people thats what wouldve made this ten times better.Answer #2:
honestly...throughout the whole verse...it left me with the "N*gga please" feeling...Look you can write...but in the end all your trying to say is your dope....so when i hear this....
"view years in three dimesions like graphs from Contact
i hop on a track with Cyde, laugh and bomb back
beyond that my raps alone through off battle rythems
aphorisms form catacylsms that shatta prysms"
It makes me feel like...wow is that really necessary? I don't get a real sense of character or connect with you as a artist when i hear sh*t like this...this could honestly be replaced with stuff lil wayne writes and the same message would of been delivered...just not as pretentious.
You have some heat in there...."never dancing on strings because i severed the ropes"...thats dope.....but you didn't really go anywhere and at the end i was left with a big "uhhhh ok...thats nice"...I really wouldn't mind you carrying that same bar and making it a theme and going in on something because that line alone can spark a really dope verse...hell i could throw some sh*t in for fun...
in short i don't feel you. I think the bars are nice but i don't get anything out of your lyrics.Its like your trying to pass of your bars as meaningful...without having much meaning when its all said and done my dude.
6/10...lyrically its there (spelling isn't but who cares) but i don't get anything out of the bars really...
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